Crafting Email Pitches & Sales Scripts that Work

A critical part of most sales development representatives (SDRs) jobs involves prospecting. They’ll find new leads, and may even start the initial outreach process through either cold calling or cold emailing.

Because cold emails can be sent so quickly, they’re a popular choice for many SDRs and other sales representatives.

And so, in order to help you get as much success as possible since cold emailing is difficult enough already, we’re going to go over how to craft email pitches, including sales scripts templates that actually work and advice from experts who know how to get results.

Structuring an Email Pitch

When structuring an email pitch, it’s always best to keep it simple. And that means starting with a simple but effective email pitch sales script.

Daisy Shevlin, SEO and Content Manager at Kaspr, asked Cognism’s Content Advisor Morgan J Ingram about what an email script needs to contain, and here’s what he said:

“A great value prop in sales emails contains 1-2 sentences about how you solve the prospect’s pain point. That’s it. No “hope you are well,” “my company is a market leader for X, Y and Z, “we’ve won X awards.” Cut the fluff!”

Breadcrumbs’ Business Development Manager, Matthew Morrison, said something similar:

“Email sales pitches should be long enough to entice and effectively identify the product that you’re selling. People often make a pitch without even mentioning what it is that your product is solving for and “HOW” your product/service can actually make a difference in this person’s job role.”

So the sales script for your email pitch needs to be brief, repeatable (so that it can be used easily by your sales staff), and focusing on the prospect’s specific needs and pain points.

How Does Personalization Fit Into a Sales Script?

Personalization is incredibly important when it comes to sales, and that goes for cold emailing, too. The more likely you are to be able to show a specific lead that you can solve their needs and problems the best, the closer you are to success.

Doing some research before initial outreach is important. You can have a much better idea of whether or not a potential prospect is in-market, the size of their business, their industry, and their potential needs or pain points because of these factors. And then you can customize your email accordingly.

“Email marketing is dead in some people’s brains, but these “EXPERTS” are mistaken because they’re sitting in a black box without having to think creatively,” said Morrison. “Email pitch scripts are fantastic when it feels like you’re actually talking to someone who knows about “YOU” and “YOUR JOB.”

“Something I’ve been doing differently this month is tailored video messages to LinkedIn prospects who filled out Demo Forms or downloaded an eBook. It will never hurt to add a GIF or video at the end of a message.

“Your pitch should include their bio, college, previous/current job role, and previous posts, and remember that you’re talking to someone who will benefit from your product. (Not the other way around)”

Ingram seconded this.

“You can’t not personalize a cold email these days. Decision makers literally receive 100s of outreach messages every day! The first step to writing a good email pitch script is to make it relevant.

“Here are some points to consider:

  • Why you’re reaching out?
  • Why is it important to them?
  • What actions can you take to address their pain points?”

So, when crafting your sales script for your email pitch, create a basic template that includes:

  • A standard greeting
  • An acknowledgement of the lead’s name and their company’s name
  • A note to acknowledge a company’s pain point, potentially with options to choose from
  • A list of value propositions to choose from
  • A sign-off with next steps, whether it’s asking to book a call or sign up for a demo

And then, your team can customize this sales script to personalize it for each lead.

Crafting a Captivating Subject Line

Crafting a strong subject line is an important first step. If you have a weak subject line, after all, you’ll never even get past the first step: Getting prospects to actually open your email.

Your email subject line needs to get the prospect’s attention, which is hard to do considering they’re probably getting anywhere from dozens to literal hundreds of emails daily.

And that means standing out and leveraging value, which means being unique.

“Everyone is using AI these days to generate anything around automated email sequences that include pitch subject lines,” said Morrison. “If you’re not doing the bare minimum to replicate what everyone is doing, you’re behind. Creativity with a mixture of trial and error is most important. Ask yourself, “What email would I open?” / “What emails do I open?”

Many brands test different sales scripts with unique subject lines to see which are most effective over time for their audience, and then they stick with that.

In terms of where to get started, Ingram had a specific recommendation:

“My top subject line for cold emails is: **[Your prospect’s first name] <> [Your company’s name]. **This works based on feedback from potential prospects because it leads to an internal email. And the greater than/less than sign is seen as a connector.”

Personalization can show that you’re really focusing on the specific prospect and their needs, and we’ve all noticed that if you put our name in the subject line, it automatically captures attention. If someone calls me out by name, I’m automatically at least a little curious.

Identifying Pain Points

We’ve talked about it a great deal already so it won’t be any surprise, but identifying and successfully addressing a prospect’s most significant pain points is perhaps the most important element that influences success with cold emailing.

If you can successfully identify, acknowledge, and propose a solution to a customer’s pain point, you’re in.

Imagine sitting at your desk, combing through your documents and getting ready to file your taxes. You aren’t sure what exemptions to take, you have W-9 income you don’t know how to declare, and you’re unsure of whether or not to add more into retirement for tax savings.

And just then you get an email from a qualified CPA saying that they know tax season is coming, and that they have many clients exactly like you who they’ve 1) ensured never gotten audited and 2) had an average tax savings of $10,000 a year.

You’re almost definitely going to reach out to learn more, right?

That’s where the power of pain points comes into play. A sentence or two, as Ingram noted, mentioning the pain points you solve and the benefits you offer is key.

Succinct Value Proposition

Pain points and value propositions go hand-in-hand.

Your value proposition will be tied explicitly to the prospect’s specific pain point.

Going back to our previous example, people may work with an accountant for these different pain points:

  • They are overwhelmed and/or hate doing their taxes
  • They are unsure of how to file properly
  • They believe an accountant can offer more savings if they structure their finances correctly
  • They are concerned about getting audited one day

These are each different pain points. And many clients may have some, but pain points may vary based on audience segmentation.

(Need help with that? We can help you create buyer personas to help your sales team!)

This is where personalization comes in. If you can successfully identify a prospect’s specific (or at least most likely) pain points, you can choose the right value propositions to offer in your email script. And ideally, you’ll address them together.

Here are a few examples, with the pain point italicized, the solution underlined, and the value proposition in bold.

  • “Many small businesses struggle to track their finances. Our software pulls expenses from business credit cards and logs them automatically, saving the average business 4 hours a week.”
  • “Never waste time on a not-ready lead ever again. We use predictive lead scoring to help our clients assess which leads are ready to convert nowno guessing games required. Our clients see an average 50% increase in conversion rates and 20% increase in pipeline velocity after using our software.
  • Tired of hiring the wrong employee? They aren’t a culture fit, or they lack the skills needed for a position, or they just don’t show up at all. Our software can offer skills and culture assessment with 98% accuracy** to improve the quality of your hires— and your retention rates!**

Research will reveal which value propositions different audience segments respond to most, so remember to test this over time.

Tone & Authority

When cold emailing, you want to seen knowledgable and authoritative on the subject you’re discussing. But while being confident is important, so is being human.

“Listen, talk to them, and treat them like an actual human,” said Morrison. “Stop treating everyone like a prospect, and your conversions will skyrocket. Your pitch should include information like their bio, college, previous/current job role, and previous posts, and remember that you’re talking to someone who will benefit from your product. (Not the other way around).

Building rapport goes a long way, because people ultimately buy from people, not businesses. If they trust you or like you, that will significantly increase your sales.

Appear helpful and not aggressive, because today, the goal isnt’ so much to sell as it is to help buyers buy.

A/B Testing and Analytics

A/B testing is one of the most important parts of developing a strong sales script, because it’s the best way to find out what does and does not work.

Write several versions of a single sales script, and then start testing and optimizing.

A/B testing is important, which involves testing a single aspect of an email to determine what actually drives results. So you don’t want to just test different versions, you’ll want to test different elements of a single email, one element at a time. These may include:

  • Subject line
  • Phrasing of the pain point and value proposition
  • Pain point and/or value proposition you focus on
  • The structure of the email
  • How much personalized information you include
  • The action you ask for at the end (IE, “Book a demo” vs. “Can I share more info”)

Many email marketing software tools provide split-testing features, and they also include in-depth analytics. Mailchimp, ActiveCampaign, and Campaign Monitor are all great choices.

Example Sales Email Pitches

When it comes to an example of a cold email sales pitch formula, this is what Ingram had to say:

“There’s a winner formula outlined by Lavender for personalization that is: Context = {observation} + {insight or problem}.”

“The observation part is the key intent signals, Ingram explained. “For example, is the target account hiring or going into new markets? The next part is insight or problem; focus on one area to make your outreach genuine and stand out.”

So, a cold email script may look like this:

“[Greet client by name],

[Personalization information]. [Discuss pain point, lead to solution and value

proposition, two sentences.]

[We can help. CTA]

[Thank client, sign off].

This may translate to an email pitch template like this:

“Hi [client name],

[Note where the employee works, or any shared ground regarding past work experience, industry, interests, or school alumni]

We’ve found that many clients working in [role/industry] have struggled with inventory management [personalize struggle if relevant]. They may experience lost inventory, misplaced inventory, or damaged inventory, resulting in a significant impact on profit.

Our software was designed for [business quality they have]. Our streamlined inventory management software makes check-in and product management easy, even for less-tech-savvy employees, and has resulted in 15% less damaged or loss inventory and saved our clients an average of $56,000 annually.

I’d love to talk more about how we may be able to help you. Are you free to jump on a thirty-minute call one day next week?

Thanks for your time,

[agent name].”

And that, in turn, may translate into this:

“Hi James,

I noticed that you just started working at Christmas Tree Distribution Center a few months ago. Congrats on the new role! I actually worked for the company a few years back, it was a great experience.

As a note, we’ve found that many clients working in the holiday distribution industry have struggled a great deal with damaged, misplaced, or lost items, costing significant impact on revenue.

Our software was designed for warehouse distribution centers. Our streamlined inventory management software makes check-in and product management easy, even for less-tech-savvy employees, and has resulted in 15% less damaged or loss inventory and saved our clients an average of $56,000 annually

I’d love to talk more about how we may be able to help you. Are you free to jump on a thirty-minute call one day next week?

Thanks for your time, and best of luck in the new role!


In addition to the cold email script, you should create email scripts for any specific need you may have, including:

  • Sales to customer success hand-offs
  • Business partnership proposals
  • Case-study based sales email templates

Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Sales Scripts for Email Pitches

When it comes to mistakes that are often made (and absolutely should not be) for cold emailing, both of our experts had great advice to share.

Morrison’s was simple, and it comes down to choosing the right person: “Common mistakes often start before the pitch because you’re not talking to the buyer / right person. After you have dialed in on your ICP, it’s time to strategize your pitch around the prospect.”

And Ingram focused on the point of sales scripts— how to use them correctly instead of over-relying on them.

“One of the top mistakes is simply copying and pasting a script as a shortcut with no personalization whatsoever,” said Ingram. “Scripts should help you follow a structure, but not exactly the same content every time for your target prospects. Think about senior leaders and how they get 100s of emails per day. What’s going to make yours stand out?”

Final Thoughts

Cold emailing can feel like a crapshoot, but it can actually be extraordinarily effective when you’re doing it at scale and you’re targeting the right people with the right messaging.

A well-optimized and personalized email pitch sales script can go a long way in helping, and the tips discussed in this post will get you off on the right foot.

And when you’ve got your email sales scripts ready to go, make sure they’re always accessible for your sales team. We strongly recommend using a content management system like Content Camel, which we designed for sales enablement purposes.

Sales and marketing team members can add new content, including a variety of email sales scripts, and they can access it at any time using search or browsing features. They can also make requests as needed.

Ready to organize and optimize your email sales scripts? Get started with Content Camel free today!